Joe Brookes journal #02: the art of perspective

Second-year under-23 Joe Brookes rides for the French AVC Aix-en-Provence team, and is supported by the Rayner Foundation. In his second journal post, Joe reflects on the mental progress he is making, alongside his continuing physical and racecraft development…

Bike racing is as much a mental demand as it is a physical one.

It can be very difficult to detach yourself from your finishing position, to step back and look at the bigger picture when results are the measure by which you are often judged

My primary goal at the start of the year was to learn and develop in my new environment and not to get fixated on achieving results. A statement that is easier to say at the start of the year than it is to accept when results are not going your way. It can be very difficult to detach yourself from your finishing position, to step back and look at the bigger picture when results are the measure by which you are often judged.

So, whilst I set out my priority for the year as being one of development, I cannot help but look back at my results so far this year and feel that I am yet to achieve last year’s level of performance, where I was often finishing in the top 20. This season? If you look at my profile on FirstCycling you’d see several average results for 2024 along with a fair share of DNFs. What this list does not show are the stories behind those results.

Every race has its unique features, every rider has a story of what could have been and mine is no different. Take, for instance, my recent double race weekend at the Tour du Charollais and the Gran Prix d’Is-sur-Tille. I approached this weekend of racing off the back of what I felt was a sub-par performance the previous week, so had high hopes of performing better and gaining some mental redemption. Making the early break and being in a strong breakaway group on day one, all was going well until I found myself suffering cramp which caused me to drop back from the lead group and slowly drift back through chasing groups and out of the race (note to self – I need to drink and fuel better!). Day two was not much better as a mechanical issue cut short my race.

It is hard to be sat alone shivering in a mostly empty car park questioning your self-worth and any potential you think you may have in this sport

So, both days saw me sat in a car park while the race continued without me. At the time it felt a difficult pill to swallow. It is hard to be sat alone shivering in a mostly empty car park questioning your self-worth and any potential you think you may have in this sport. You are alone but not alone as you can feel that lingering sense of disappointment in each of the riders slumped outside an empty team van. Yet, despite what I saw as my personal shortcomings, my team had ridden to victory on the Sunday race and that morale booster helped me regain some perspective. Still, a nagging sense of imposter syndrome lingered and I was left wishing I could have helped more and at least rolled over the line. Despite this being another setback, my desire to come back stronger in the next race remained.

However, my progression hadn’t gone unnoticed, my DS had seen me riding strongly at the front of the race and giving everything I had. I was added to the team roster for the second round of the Coupe de France (CDF) for the following weekend. For our team, as with many French teams, the CDF races are a top priority and a big focus. My inclusion was a huge morale boost.

Within a few days I was on a short haul flight from Marseille to Paris then travelling west to Normandie for a weekend of racing. On the flight thoughts were whizzing through my mind. On one hand was the desire to please my DS, to prove my worth. On the other, there was a sense of freedom from pressure, a chance to race with some freedom knowing that expectation of a win would be with others in the team

The course was one that I felt suited me being several laps of a circuit with a short sharp climb that would split the field. It was certain to be a fast race and it did not disappoint with attacks kicking off from the flag dropping. Within the first couple of laps the elastic between the early attackers and the peloton snapped with a group of ten riders breaking away. My role was to be present in these early moves, so having done just that but missing the key break, I felt I was one life down in proving my worth.

I was feeling strong so I attacked over the climb and along with one other rider we set off to bridge to the lead group who were a minute plus ahead. To my delight, and that of my DS, we made it

On the following lap, I seized an opportunity to make my mark, making a solo attack just ahead of the key climb finding myself where I wanted to be – alone behind the break but ahead of the peloton. I rolled on at a good tempo anticipating that other riders would have used the climb as a platform for a breakaway. Soon a chasing group swept me up and I was able to sit in ready to make the next jump. I was feeling strong so I attacked over the climb and along with one other rider we set off to bridge to the lead group who were a minute plus ahead. To my delight, and that of my DS, we made it. Having our team present in the breakaway is very important for our DS and I was up there representing us.

Ultimately we were reeled in and I was unable to react to a small counter-attack and while disappointed with this I was satisfied that I had contributed to the overall team effort and had ridden strongly at the front of the race. In my post-race reflection/debrief, it was clear that I had worked too much once I had made the lead group – more learning for me to take to my next races. The next day was a repeat with me making an early break and whilst we were again reeled in by the peloton, I felt good as I was showing some form.

I am accepting that progression in sport is not linear, there will be ups and downs and progression can at times be slower than I want it to be.

So back to where I started this report. Despite still not having any results of note, I am certainly seeing progress in my performance and I am happy with that. I feel that although I have come a long way and have learnt much already, there is still so much more to learn. I am accepting that progression in sport is not linear, there will be ups and downs and progression can at times be slower than I want it to be. For me the key is to keep a sense of perspective, to reflect on the positives and learn from the negatives.